I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
