How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
