It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
false alarm, still single
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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