on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
