My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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