So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
