4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
