who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
