i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
