Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
