like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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