I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize