i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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