You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
