two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
