he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
