You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize