the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
