Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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