So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
