I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
