Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
