So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
