Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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