mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
