D3 body, D1 cock
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You made out with two different species that night
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
