She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize