Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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