Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
