yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
