i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
