Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I am available for nakedness
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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