Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize