My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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