I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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