Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
