I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
