Pregnant stripper...not hot.
smell my finger.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
