she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just had sex on a roof
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
