This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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