In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
