Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
