i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm getting married
To pizza
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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