How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
