I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
