You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
