This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just found a bag of teeth...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
