Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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