Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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