I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize