How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this beer tastes like vomit already
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
my liver is dry heaving
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
