i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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