The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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