This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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