i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
