Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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