I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize