We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I supernannyed him into submission
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
