Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
