We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
