thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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