So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
