Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
