yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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