My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
