And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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