We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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